When I put her in pain ..
A has been stressed out these days ..
she might be undergoing a growth spurt .. or .. the new class that she has moved up ..
the heat .. or .. well I am still trying to figure..
I know it will pass .. but still it’s really hard!
After a tantrum and me reacting .. not so well ..
We reactions just do that!!
Responding is what we must be doing but .. always been wired to react .. since my childhood .. and still being reacted upon .. I am unable to .. Respond instead of react 🙁
She questioned me yesterday..
“how could u do it?
Don’t u know I am in lots of pain? “(She hurt her ear .. I was worried and couldn’t sleep the night before .. well that’s another story)
Well setting boundaries is tough..!!!
Reading a lot of parenting books is one thing .. but doing accordingly .. actually remembering .. them at appropriate times is another ..
well trying to respond finally .. especially when she was wheeling me to the right way ..
I told her
“I am sorry .. u made a mistake .. while correcting it .. I was made a bigger mistake!
I am so sorry ..
I am so sorry ..
I am apologising sincerely ..
What do u want me to do to let you forgive me?”
She had big emotions..
But she forgave me and was her normal .. self showering me with loads of love
But .. I couldn’t forgive myself as easily as she could .. especially after she pointed out .. how painful it was for her to deal with me letting her down! Yes .. I did let her down!!
I am the centre of her little world!
But .. well ..
Children are a blessing .. they let u see a new perspective and they are so forgiving!
Well four years she is ..
but .. she is a human on her own!
Not just my child ..
I realised writing this down helped me ease a little more ..
Then again .. this is something that is written with pain .. but earnestly and honestly for me to come back and reflect!
Until then I soak in #aadyalove to heal!
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