How motherhood transformed me!
I am finally breaking my blogging sabbatical with this post of the blog train -2 hosted by Pooja Kawatra of Mums & Babies.
Thanks Pradnya for the warm intro ..
Well moving onto “How Motherhood Transformed Me” ..
I have to move back to 24 years back …
Oh yes! .. I was 2 months short 5 years old then .. 27.10.1993 – My little brother was born!
Playing with him, taking care of him .. Feeling J! of him .. Learning from him .. Bettering myself.. (Sometimes for setting a better example .. Sometimes just to outdo him ) and of course fighting with him 🙂 has been my life motto!
I remember trying to secure real good marks in 10th only to set a good target for him to reach 😀
Oh yes! I was that crazy in being involved in raising him!
Then almost 8 years ago .. I lost him .. to an accident ..
I was devastated .. I felt I could never love anybody ever .. again..
No not even falling for the husbandman can count ..
Then .. On our first anniversary I could feel it .. I could feel a life .. Within me .. Other than mine ..
We met the gynaec .. She did not confirm my pregnancy .. But i knew it! A week later I decided to test myself .. 2 PINK LINES!
I was right all the way ..
We went for the scan .. And then .. I saw the foetus.. And its heart beating ..
I then understood what it meant to feel 2 hearts beating in the same rythm . . World halting .. And love at first sight!
My ability to love unconditionally finally rekindled !
It was pure magic! I did all that was told is good for the baby .. Listening, reading to Ramayana .. Crafting, cut off social media .. Writing, blogging .. Drawing .. Settling .. What not! Oh yes .. Cooking! I was way too nauseated all the time to even eat .. Forget cook .. 😀
Frankly everything I did for the baby .. Within me .. I was nourishing my soul along with the baby’s 🙂
I was never this connected to my body than this! So much that when yet again .. The gynaec .. The nurses .. Told me otherwise .. Following my body let me deliver my child on my own! Only when Aadya’s head was out the world knew .. I was really in active labour and it was an emergency! Well this birth story in detail is for another post surely!
All that I worked while Aadya was in the womb paid off .. So well that .. She was a baby .. A very very easy one to handle! So easy that .. I decided I wanted more than two children whatsover! 😉 (i was never a part of any of the parenting groups that i am part of now .. Nor i know the bliss of babywearing then but still .. she was easy .. )
Coming over to my second pregnancy .. I was more excited of Aadya having a sibling 🙂 i just know that magic bond siblings share !
But I was in for a very very pleasant surprise .. The due date coincided with my brothers birthday!
But my happiness was changed to worry as the corporate hospitals .. Gave me an unnecessary cervical cerclage.. And advised bedrest .. When i decided to move back to Vizag ! I underwent severe depression.. Fear of losing my brother yet again .. Not able to feel the fresh air for a good five months 🙁 ( well with Aadya i was walking 5 km uphill everyday until the last before day of my delivery) I was never restricted as such .. But I overcame all that because I believed we send our vibes to the baby .. By trusting God completely! By signing up to a library and hobbies yet again .. Frankly all the crafts listed under The Parentales were made during this bedrest ..
And finally even after the stitch was removed and I resumed my over active lifestyle.. I went to labour on my due date 🙂 my baby .. My brother and I with Lord Shiva’s blessings .. She was born on 27.10.2016! We named her Siva Manasi after Sivaditya ..
Siva Manasi turned one last month and Sree Aadya turned akka for one year! I love how they love each other so much .. Oh more than me too .. Strangely I dont feel jealous! I am happy that I am able to re-experience the sibling bond this closely sitting back ..
Motherhood encourages me to take notice of myself .. My own dreams. .. My own health .. My own thoughts .. Oh yes I stumble upon .. I fall down .. But I make sure I get up! Because i have 4 little eyes watching me .. Looking up to me ..
I realised that failing is not that bad .. But refusing to try again is .. Finally what gets the children to work is .. Being an example you want them to be 🙂
Mothering my children made me a stronger person .. Ever Ready to fight the world .. Fight my own vices if necessary:) And the bestest part is I am never alone … My children with their unconditional love will stand by me .. Even if it is .. Against the world!
🙂 on this positive note, I sign off with loads of love to all of you who have come this far of my post ❤️
I introduce the next amazing mommy Rupali Saxena who blogs here. A mother, a wife, a daughter and a friend always 🙂 She is a traveller, her own story maker, inspiring and learning from her experiences. A CFA by qualification, writer by choice and trainer (finance ) by profession.